There may be trouble ahead
But while there's music and moonlight and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Before the fiddlers have fled
Before they ask us to pay the bill and while we still have the chance
Let's face the music and dance
Soon we'll be without the moon, humming a different tune and then
There may be teardrops to shed
So while there's moonlight and music and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Dear Friends,
Four months ago I wrote to share with those dearest to me the sudden news we received in early July. Our hopes that the operation I’d had in March, 2018, to remove the cancerous tumor my doctors had discovered on my pancreas, followed by the six months of chemotherapy I’d undergone, would be enough to bring me to a cure. But those hopes would not be realized. Instead, June’s CT-scans revealed life-threatening metastasis of that pancreatic cancer in my lungs.
Two months ago I wrote again to let you all know that the nodules in my lungs hadn’t been growing or multiplying as expected and that the doctors had decided to give me another couple of months before commencing chemotherapy. September and October were, if not carefree, an opportunity for us to revel in living life, day by day, moment by moment. I’ve never felt more alive and connected.
Above all, I live in joy and gratitude for each of you in my life. In ways big and small, you’ve lifted me up and made living in the shadow of my mortality much more than bearable. I feel strong, connected and ready to face what may lie before me.
Last week’s blood labs and CT-scans revealed that it’s now time for first a(nother) biopsy, followed directly by targeted chemotherapy. With my beloved Alva and my dear, dear siblings, nieces and nephews filling my heart with hundreds of reasons to embrace life every day, as well as a top-notch team of physicians, I am able to stand tall.
Though my news may be hard, I’m hoping we all can continue to focus on all we have and have had together. No lesions, no side effects can ever stand between me and the joyful love that I feel and celebrate with every breath I take. Let us reside in the boundless Now, come rain or come shine.
My friends, you mean the world to me. And as Louis Armstrong reminds us, what a wonderful world!
love from your bamboobear,
Bear